No Point of View is the Last Point of View
by Yemam2422
Summary: DL. 'The Box' from Jim Harriss' perspective.


I wasn't sure if Detective Messer's hands always moved like that when he talked or if it was nerves that made him emphasize each word with a motion. I had a feeling it was a little bit of both. By the way he hunched down on the bench, the weight of the world on his shoulders, it was clear that something was bothering the young Detective. The only way I knew how to get him to relax was to share my own ordeal of the past couple of days. The only way I knew how to start that story was by asking if he had any kids.

He was hesitant at first, clearing his throat and considering his words carefully but that simple question opened an unexpected floodgate. I was surprised by how much Detective Messer shared with me and my wife. Not that I minded. I was intrigued by his story. Not only how they'd come to solve our daughter's murder but what was going on with him and Lindsay Monroe.

I wasn't surprised to hear that Detective Messer had once been a ball player. He had the lean, agile build of a solid leadoff hitter. Too bad about that fight. The Mets could have used a good shortstop when Detective Messer would have been in his prime.

So two days ago Detective Messer thought he had all the answers. My Nicole had thought that once too. Little did either of them know that you never really have all the answers. But it was too late for me to tell Nicole that. Life changing moments are, without a doubt, scary and it broke my heart to think of Nicole scared and lonely in this city. I couldn't let my mind wander down that dark path though and Detective Messer wove a tale of lies and murder and love that distracted me.

Speaking of love, I couldn't help but smirk at the smile that covered Detective Messer's face when he talked about Lindsay Monroe. He probably didn't even recognize how his voice changed and whole face lit up at the mention of her name. I understood that look, most likely had that foolish grin plastered on my face more than I care to admit. Detective Messer didn't know it yet, but he was in love. Absolutely in love, to borrow one of his words. Only a man in love would smile like that at the thought of his girlfriend, let alone remember her eighth and ninth birthday presents. A fishing pole and buck knife? Lindsay Monroe sounded like a special lady.

But this special lady seemed to be the source of Detective Messer's torment. He started to pace when he told us how he'd seen Lindsay at the health center. His brow creased and jaw clenched, the confusion and hurt at being lied to were evident. No relationship is perfect. I've told white lies to Andrea, made my fair share of mistakes, but as we've gotten older anything but the truth feels plain silly. Short of being able to fast forward time to when he'd be older and wiser, I couldn't offer much advice.

Listening to him describe how he learned Lindsay was pregnant, I remembered the day Nicole came to her mom and me and told us that same news. I wish I'd reacted more like Detective Messer had - sounded like he was really worried about Lindsay. But I had been too angry and righteous to get past my disappointment and be the father I should have been to my little angel in that moment.

I'd always been faithful to Andrea and couldn't put myself in Detective Messer's shoes. Lord knows I'd be scared shitless of having to tell her I'd been with another woman so I can't blame the guy for not saying anything. But it's smart of him to understand that Lindsay knows – a woman always knows these things. Can't get anything by that intuition of theirs. At least I can't with Andrea, that's for sure. Poor guy. He really seemed to regret what he did and I'm glad they got back together. But like Detective Messer said, things weren't the same. They can't be. Because things like that do serious damage, even if it's hidden at first. Eventually scars form and reveal themselves. It's only a matter of if those scars make a person stronger or simply stain them. That outcome was still to be determined with these two.

But I'd put my money on Lindsay Monroe being a survivor. She was exactly how I'd pictured her - petite and pretty. I could see why Detective Messer was smitten. I made a mental note to thank her for reaching out to my daughter that day in the clinic, for being a friend to a complete stranger. I recognized a bit of myself in Detective Messer – volatile and stubborn at times. I had a feeling Lindsay was a little bit like Andrea – stubborn in her own right but a grounding force I couldn't live without out.

I have about twenty years of life experience on Detective Messer but still struggled for words of wisdom to leave him with. All I could say was good luck and no regrets. Even with both of those he'd still make mistakes, question life.

What will happen with Detectives Messer and Monroe? I don't know. If I learned anything from the past two days it's that you never know what life will bring. But as I walked away from those two to meet my new grandson I couldn't help but believe - hope - that they'd do what Andrea and I would have to do. Pull through this 'what now' moment together and welcome a special new life into their own.

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**A/N:** The (lame) title was inspired by a (not lame at all) William James quote. Thanks for reading!


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